If someone so much as says “my boyfriend” on TikTok, the reaction is instant: dramatic sighs, scrolling fingers, and sarcastic comments. For many young women online, public displays of love have become less endearing and more exhausting. What was once a badge of romantic success now feels almost outdated, even slightly embarrassing.
In her viral Vogue article “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” British writer Chanté Joseph explored this very shift, showing how modern women have grown wary of being defined by their relationships. Her argument resonates surprisingly well here in Ghana, where cultural expectations around love and womanhood are still deeply rooted. Still, the social media landscape has evolved into something far more complex.
The Era of the “Soft Launch”
Gone are the days of matching outfits and “couple goals” captions on Instagram. The new romantic aesthetic is subtle, almost secretive: a cropped photo, a shadow at dinner, a bouquet with no card. Ghanaian women, especially public figures, are no longer “hard-launching” their partners online; they are curating mystery instead.
This is not necessarily about shame or secrecy. It is about control. The internet never forgets, and in a culture where a breakup can easily become public gossip, keeping a relationship private feels like self-preservation.
That attitude reflects a quiet rebellion. For so long, Ghanaian women, both online and off, have been rewarded for their ability to attract and keep a man. But in 2025, many are rejecting that validation system altogether. Romance is still welcome, but the performance of it is not.
The Fear of Embarrassment
Let’s be honest: Ghanaian women’s unofficial slogan might as well be “Men will embarrass you.” It has become both a meme and a mantra, a shorthand for the collective caution of women who have witnessed one too many public heartbreaks.
Beyond the jokes lies a genuine anxiety. Posting your relationship is an emotional gamble. What if it ends, and the internet has receipts? What if he cheats? What if he embarrasses me, or something worse? What if envy, the dreaded “ani bone (evil eye)”, sabotages what you thought was love? For some women, privacy is not about mystery; it is spiritual armour.
When Single Becomes a Statement
Interestingly, the pendulum has swung so far that singleness itself has become aspirational. Online, being single is trending: women showing off solo dates, solo travel, and a lifestyle that prioritises peace over partnership. In a society where marriage is still treated as an ultimate goal, that is quietly radical.
Being single now reads as a kind of quiet confidence. It suggests freedom, focus, and self-possession, qualities that once made women seem incomplete without a man. For many, it is less about rejecting love and more about refusing to perform it for the sake of approval.
Redefining Love, Privately
The shift is not just aesthetic; it is philosophical. Ghanaian women are rewriting what it means to love without losing individuality. The online audience, once hungry for romantic spectacle, now seems to prefer authenticity or, at the very least, privacy.
There is no shame in falling in love, and certainly none in sharing it. But as women continue to reclaim their narratives, “having a boyfriend” no longer feels like the grand achievement it once did. The true flex now is emotional independence: loving openly but living quietly.
Maybe the boyfriend is not the problem. Maybe the performance is.
This article draws inspiration from Chanté Joseph’s “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” published by Vogue in 2025.
